she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
