Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
