Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
