you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
