I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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