arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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