my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
