I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
