You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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