The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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