Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
