Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
