I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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