I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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