Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
