she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
