Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
