you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
