dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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