I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
