I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize