I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
