He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
