i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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