Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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