So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize