even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
