it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I still have a little drunk in my system
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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