I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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