I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
