How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm passing your future prison.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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