dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I've blown a few things in my day
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
