So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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