census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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