marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
