are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
