Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
