I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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