I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
