Define "chronic" masturbator.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
