You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
