How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
