Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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