i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
