This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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