Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
