I can tuck mytits in my pants
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
