I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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