I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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