dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
