you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
