Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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