Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
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