i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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