Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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