He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
