My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
