I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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