this beer tastes like vomit already
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
